Quick tips
Short, calm, one idea at a time. Real things I tell clients, written the way I'd say them to you directly.
The angry week
The worst time to make a settlement decision is the week you're most hurt. Big feelings make small futures. You don't have to feel ready. You just have to wait until the decision is coming from your head, not your hardest day.
Write the date down
You don't need your ex's agreement to separate. But the date you separated changes time limits, valuations, and how contributions are counted. So write it down. Text it to yourself today. Future you will thank you.
Don't hide anything
If you're tempted to leave an asset off the list, don't. Full and frank disclosure is a legal duty, and courts have seen every trick there is. A hidden asset doesn't disappear. It just costs you more when it's found.
The asset you can't see
Superannuation is still property, even though you can't spend it yet. It's often the second biggest asset in the pool, and the one people forget to count. Ask for the statement. Both of them.
The house isn't the prize
Don't fight to keep a house you can't afford to run. I've watched people win the home and lose their financial future. The prize isn't the address. It's the life you can actually afford after.
The $600 email
Before you ask your lawyer to send that furious letter, do the maths. You're paying hundreds of dollars to call your ex a liar, and it won't change the split. Save the anger for your journal. Save the lawyer for the strategy.
Your sister's settlement
Your sister got 70%. Your neighbour kept the house. Good for them. Their pool isn't your pool. Their contributions aren't yours. Their future needs aren't yours. Comparison isn't research. Get advice on your numbers.
Know the pool first
You can't negotiate what you can't name. Before you talk percentages, know what's actually in the pool, every asset, every debt, both supers. The best prepared person in the room is usually the calmest. That's not a coincidence.
The clock is running
Married? You generally have 12 months from the date your divorce is final to apply for property orders. De facto? Generally 2 years from separation. Miss the window and you may need the court's permission to proceed. Know your dates.
Decide your walk away
Before mediation, answer two questions, what does a good outcome look like, and what will I do if I don't get it? The person who knows their walk away point doesn't negotiate desperate. Desperate is expensive.
General information only, not legal advice. For advice about your situation, speak with a family lawyer.